RESIDENTIAL STREET DURING THE DAY. A STREETS DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE IS PUTTING A STREET SIGN INTO THE GROUND.
CLOSE UP OF STREET SIGN. IT READS “DEAF CHILD AREA”
BACK TO MAN PUTTING THE SIGN INTO THE GROUND. A CAR SKIDDING FOLLOWED BY A SCREAM IS HEARD IN THE DISTANCE.
”Oh no! Joshua!”
MAN CROSSES HIMSELF, SAYS A SHORT PRAYER, AND BEGINS REMOVING THE SIGN FROM THE GROUND.
How much longer do you people think the U.S.’s outrageous consumer culture, built on the backs of virtual slave labor in third-world hell holes, can really last? Seriously, do you know? I want to buy iPhones for my cats.
Justin Bieber has turned himself in on an assault charge. The charge could be upped to manslaughter if the victim kills himself over the shame of getting beat up by Justin Bieber.
My one brother would always draw cars as a kid, and he became a mechanic. Another brother would always draw animals, and then went into biology. And my youngest brother loved to draw houses, and now he works for Habitat for Humanity. And as for me, I would always take their drawings and mock them to feel better about myself.
I love reading comments on recipe websites from people who didn’t have all the ingredients they needed, or who alter the recipe so much it’s basically a different dish. “I don’t like onions, tortillas, cheese, sauce, or meat, so I left them out of the enchiladas. I didn’t have beans, so I substituted Swedish fish. Won’t make it again.”
To whom it may concern (you know who you are),
First of all, I’d like to say “thanks” for your passive aggressive behavior. You’ve made everyone’s life SO much more “fulfilling”. No, really, I mean that.
I really didn’t want to have to write this open letter, and I waited as long as I could, but I feel someone needs to tell you that you may need to stop being so passive aggressive. It would be nice if, for a change, you tried actually NOT being passive aggressive. It’s just a suggestion. I mean, what do I know? I’m just someone you supposedly care about.
Passive aggressively is one of the worst ways you can act toward someone. It’d be amazing if for once you would consider what you are doing to the people around you. I would talk to you about it directly, but you probably wouldn’t want to listen since you’re so passive aggressive, and also I’ve been really busy with work.
I’m also SO sorry that you feel the need to constantly sulk and try to get people to pity you. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t know if I can live like this anymore. I’ve talked to all my friends and family about it and they say I shouldn’t have to live like this. So why are you so callous about it? And so passive aggressive. I didn’t make you like this; I’m not the bad example here. Maybe you get it from that mother of yours.
Also, in addition to not being so passive aggressive, it’d be nice if you would refill the Brita pitcher when it’s empty. Some other people ALSO enjoy cool, filtered water. Thanks.
You know who
There are going to be three different televised GOP responses to the SOTU: one from a moderate House rep, one from a conservative senator, and one from a dog in a tri corner hat shitting on a picture of Obama.